We are slowly learning that we are in this for the long haul and that there is no easy fix for Lauren's hip, only time, eating right and prayer.
Lauren's 2 month post cast check up was yesterday and I had been dreading hearing what the Surgeon was going to say. Every time I would convince myself it would be all good, my brain would talk myself out of it and I would try to prep myself for bad news. It is a constant battle I seem to fight inside my head; don't get too excited because it could be bad news ~or~ think positive Sarah, because you need that in order for it to be positive. It's so hard to not be able to monitor what is going on without an x-ray or MRI.
We met Derek, Debbie, Nevan and Mom at the hospital, again Nevan and Lauren's appointments were booked for the same day. As you probably know, hospitals don't work with your schedule, they just hand you a slip that tells you when your next appointment is and it's been pretty amazing that all of the kids appointments to date have been booked on the same day, what are the chances? We were walking down the hospital hall and Garry happened to see my brother checking in for Nevan at Radiology. Nevan had just completed all of this blood tests and was now waiting to be called for his CT and x-ray. He and Lauren got to play hockey with Grandma for a few minutes until the nurse called his name and we realized it was time for us to get over to Ortho for Lauren's x-ray and appointment.
We checked in and waited for Lauren's name to be called. I was grateful that my Mom was there to watch Brayden, this way I could focus on what needed to be done for Lauren. I couldn't believe how easy going Lauren was while we were there, she was pretty happy to watch the movie on the TV as well as color while sitting at the kids table. Lauren's name was called about 20mins later, I scooped her up and took her into the x-ray room. She was quick to say "bye bye" to the radiologist. She was not happy that we were in there, however, she allowed me to change her diaper and get her ready for the photo. When placing her on the table, so that she could be strapped down, was when she exercised her lungs, she made sure to tell us that she wasn't happy, in between crying she would say "all done"...I have to say, for me, it is hard to see your child upset, but it is getting easier as I now know what to expect and that it is just for a short period of time.
Upon leaving the x-ray room, we were greeted by Granddad!! Lauren was so happy to be transfer to his arms!! We then packed everyone up and proceeded to the Ortho clinic, which is just down the hall. We were in the waiting room for all of 1 min when Lauren's name was called.
We saw Lauren's surgeon about 2mins later. He brought up her current x-ray along with the one she had done the day her cast was removed (Dec. 6th, 2011). His first words were, "I was trying to talk myself into seeing more bone growth then there is...." as my heart sank I could feel my face getting flush and my heart started to beat faster. No, Lauren isn't going through all of this just to have him say she needs to go for an operation and another cast - NO! Then, he said "I really didn't give her a lot of time as I just saw her 2 months ago"...Ok, I calmed down. He then went on to say that he isn't a believer of bracing when it comes to spines, or other parts of the body; however he is a firm believer of bracing for hip issues. When he first saw Lauren her hip was completely out of her socket, it was bad, currently today, her hip is in the socket, there is new bone growth on the femur and part of the socket (so we aren't worried about blood supply), we just need more growth around the socket. At this point in time, her femur is surrounded with some bone, but mostly cartilage, so with the right amount of pressure and exercise, it can turn to bone. Although we still aren't out of the woods yet, he does believe that time will heal Lauren and that by using the brace she will heal herself. If we had said to him that we were done with the brace, he said we would be booking a time for the OR for the Pelvic Osteotomy. Garry and I both echoed each other in saying that we are fine with the brace and we will do anything to save our little girl another operation. So, at this point in time, although I didn't want to hear that there hasn't been enough growth, it is still not bad news. Lauren's surgeon did give us permission for her to participate this weekend in her close friends birthday party - she is all good for a pony ride!! And, our Dr loved the Valentines Day cookies both Lauren and Brayden brought for him!!
I left the Ortho clinic disappointed. Really, another 3 months in the brace for sure, no break for our little girl. Why? Why can't she be allowed to keep up with her peers, why can't she run free around the house, or on walks, or at play dates. Why does this happen to a perfect little girl?
We then went to go and meet up with Derek, Debbie and Nevan at the follow up cancer clinic. As soon as we arrived, Lauren was not only excited to see her cousin again, she was also excited to check out all of the new toys, she quickly scooted over to a little rid on truck toy. While cruising around, a young girl, probably 5 or 6 years old, with long curly blond hair came over to try and push Lauren on the toy. At first it melted my heart at how gentle she was when she started to push Lauren. But, quickly Lauren's face turned sour and she responded to the help with a "Me. No". Embarrassed, I quickly smiled at the girl and told her that Lauren is pretty tired and just being silly, but that I thought what she tried to do was pretty nice. A few minutes later that young girl and her Mom were called into the clinic to see the Dr., all while Nevan continued to play hockey with Grandma and Grandad and Lauren happily played (solo) on the ride on toy.
Nevan was then called into the patient room while the little girl and her Mom walked out of the clinic. While leaving the Mom was explaining to her daughter that "the Dr.'s needs to take a picture of your brain now...". My heart sank for this family, this is supposed to be a place for check ups and all clears of cancer. All of a sudden, all of my disappointment about Lauren's visit vanished. I could handle our news, we are fine and Lauren is going to be playing soccer with all of her peers in a few years - no one will be able to tell she struggled for her first few years. This little girl, along with her family, was just given potentially the worst news~ I could tell the Mom was doing everything possible to hold herself together. I just wanted to get up and give her a hug. Break my heart.
Nevan, on the other hand was just told that he needed Iron supplements. Everything else is perfect, he is healing just fine. He really is a little trooper.
At the end of the day, not every lesson can be taught to us inside the four walls of a classroom. Life has thrown us a few curve balls over the past year, but together, as a family we have met each obstacle head on and done our best to navigate through it. One of the many positives I truly feel is that both Nevan's cancer and Lauren's DDH has brought us together and made us all only more closer as a family. We have learnt to depend and be there for each other in ways we never would have imagined. As well, I know that everyone in our family has felt loved and supported by our friends and community as well. It isn't always easy to count your blessing during tough times, but, sometimes that is the greatest lesson learnt.
